Thursday, December 31, 2009
It is interesting how the beginning of a near year can make me feel so wanting of the past. What makes another year make me want to go back? Is it the sudden reality that my life is being lived at a fast pace? Is it the feeling that I didn't make it what I wanted it to be? Is it the time that passed when I didn't realize time was indeed passing and now I find myself 29 and married with 2 kids and I didn't achieve my life goals? Do alot of people achieve life goals? I think not. Only the few. Did my life make many altered paths? Yes. Did I always know what I would do next? No. What about the past 5 years of my life? Married. I raised my daugter and then had another one. I love them. In fact if I had to do it all over again I might even do it all the same. The only difference is that after having my first daughter I think I would handle things differently. I might have reacted different or said things to people different. I am kind of a different person though now than I was 8 years ago. I am BA now. I do not let people walk over me. I say what I want (with in reason) and I do not let people get under my skin. Why should I let them? I shouldn't, so I don't. I think alot of people in my life do not realize this about me and when I say certain things or act certain ways they seem taken aback. I think it is awesome and I always pat myself on the back and say to myself, you are making it! All in all, I am happy with how I turned out. I could use a few friends more regularly in my life, though.